A SOBERING EVENT.

[Bob23]

   The other day I was preparing to lift my Alden Ocean Shell off the top of my Tundra at the small bayfront public beach where I keep "Koinonia" moored and go for my morning rows. Glancing up, I noticed a young, (18-20) attractive girl approaching, apparently on her morning walk. Now, guys, nothing wierd intended here, but lets face it: No matter how old we get, they always catch our eyes, right? It's not a bad thing.
   So when I realized she had purposely altered her course and was nearing my truck, I was pleasantly intrigued. As she neared she said, "Can I give you a hand?" "No, I've got it but thank you" was my dumb reply. Then I realized two things: First, I should have let her help and second and more sobering, she probably offered to help because she didn't think the old codger could get a 40 pound boat off the truck without having a stroke!
   This took place on Long Beach Island, NJ, a resort island where on any given morning in the summer, hundreds of these attactive women can be found, running, walking, biking and just generally prettying up the landscape. When they are gone, all we have are ugly construction co-workers to look at so things attempt to balance themselves out in the summer. Again, nothing wierd here, but if she ever offers help again, I'll gladly accept!
Bob23

[jimyoung]

Bob,

Good story, she probably was offering to help in hopes of being offered a day of fun on the water! Never turn down the help of a pretty woman, even if it causes more work than help.

Capt'n Jim

[Potcake boy]

Bob,

Better yet, if you fall to the ground feigning a collapse maybe she will administer some of that life saving CPR.  Hopefully she won't notice your dentures and remove them as a chocking hazard.  Well maybe it's better to just keep dreaming, while sailing.

Ron

[Bob23]

Good advice Jim and Ron. Maybe I could even convince her that I dye my hair this grey color. In the future, I'll remember Cap't Jims advice: "Never turn down help from a pretty woman".
Bob23

[romei]

Bob, you did the right thing as sure as I'm standing here.  Imagine if you will....  

You accept her help and make some small talk, which of course includes your love for your beautiful Koinonia, and she hangs on your every word.  You promise to take her out sailing sometime, and to your surprise she actually accepts.  You sneak out and spend more and more time together until it's a full blown affair and after the divorce with Mrs. Bob23, the two of you sail away on Koinonia because that's all you have left.  You got tired of the legal proceedings and the fighting and told the lawyers that all you wanted was Koinonia and your new mermaid and that Mrs. Ex-Bob23 could have the rest.  You just wanted out.  

Mrs. Ex-Bob23 owns all of your other shit now.

Anyway, you sail away and life is good in the Caribbean that first winter, There's not much money, but you don't feel you need money, and in a drunkin blur, you marry her one steamy night in St. Martin.  

But then things go bad.  

In a few short months on such a small boat the bickering starts and there's no privacy.  Pretty soon, she standing over the head shaving her armpits while you're trying to take a shit and you realize that the honeymoon is over.  Back in New Jersey that next summer she files for divorce stating to your honor that a man twice her age and then some (you) has taken advantage of her, and she's devastated.  She claims she has nowhere to turn and that she's givin up everything for you and your empty promises.

Well the judge is more focused on that sweater full of puppies that look like they are having a wrestling match under there, and the ass that you can bounce a quarter off of.....you know, that same one that you fell for 18 months ago, and he rules in her favor.

You wind up bobbing up and down there, now known as Bob8,  on that little 8 foot 40 pound dinghy like Captain Bligh, watching her as she sails away on Koinonia, just like Bligh watched the Bounty disappear from sight.  There is no more hopeless feeling that that of a captain watching his ship sail away.  A seagull lands on your head but you are to weak to grab it and you are hungry........................

Well, I'm sure you can figure out how it ends.  You did the right thing Bob.  As sure as I'm standing here, you did the right thing.

[Bob23]

Rom:
  THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You have probably saved me from a life of misery and dispair as well as saving my beloved "Koinonia"! What foresight...what wisdom...what a pathetic end I could have had if I hadn't logged on this morning.
  I think once she got close enough to smell my garlic breath, that would have put an end to it.
  I'd still accept her help lifting the boat off. Maybe.
Bob23
(I don't like the sound of Bob8)