I thought me and Ohana had a good relationship (here's a good one Bob)...

[Potcake boy]

Sorry - I should have said "inflate the dinghy", I don't want to start sounding like a boat accessory terrorist.

I admit that I have talked to my boat on occasion, but I'm not proud to say that it was under circumstances of duress. Examples:
1. Launching her with no dock lines attached "Please come back baby - I'll buy you that new sail"
2. In the midst of a nasty storm "Just get me through this one and I promise I'll always check the weather before we go out"
3. Getting grounded on the sand bar in front of the dockside hangout for sailors "You just slide right off this sand bar like nothin' ever happened and I'll put up the new code flag set when we get tied up at the pier"
4. Doing the sail right up to the dock for a dramatic last minute tack in front of the gawking crowds of non sailors and realising that you may have put the helm over a few seconds too late "Please baby just suck in a little bit on the port side and I'll give you all the credit for being such an easy vessel to maneuver in close quarters"

Does this make me an abuser?  I'm sure she must see something good in my character because she's never sprung a leak at 2:00 AM or hit me in the head with her boom or shook me off the bow while while trying to subdue an out of control spinnaker.

[Rick Klages]

I have been known to say unrepeatable things to my outboard when it will not start. Other wise its just a glance or a friendly pat on the hull in passing.  No words needed, none really suffice.

[newt]

Ron and Rick
My CP-23 (who doesn't like her name posted cause she is shy) pointed out your posts to me. With a tear on her bow, she made me promise never to treat her that way. I said of course not, but she still peaks over my shoulder now and then. Be careful what you post dude!
Now when I go out in the marina she is tugging at one or two docklines, saying she doesn't like the big powerboat next to her...Or how could I understand what a sailboat feels, I'm just a human. The last time she got this way, and I sided with the regular boat owners-she took a swipe at me with her boom. And then the radio and wind vane are going to start malfunctioning. I may have to take her to her favorite marina and let her talk to her Catalina 22 friends.
And you thought maintainence was a simple turn of the wrenches!

[Bob23]

Ah...I see you guys are finally starting to understand us. Who said that men are a bunch of thick-headed numbskulls?
Koinonia