On Friday October 22nd, my father-in-law, Capt. Otto Hansen, age 91 ended his life after having breakfast with his wife of 59 years. Otto lived a rich life, not by monetary standards but by the intense way he lived, sailed, raced and approached every aspect of living.
Some may remember my past references to him here at the lounge. He has sailed for at least 75 years on the same waters that I now frequent. Back in the 50's, he raced his Lightning named Time and Tide and dominated consistently prompting one newspaper writer to state in an article he kept: "Like Time and Tide, Otto Hansen waits for no man." That writer without realizing it accurately described my father-in-laws approach to life. He lived very deliberately, not asking for nor waiting for permission to do anything but rather forging ahead as his adventurous spirit dictated.
He told us many times of his first sailboat: He and his father found an old Barnegat Bay sneakbox sunken in a mosquito ditch, took it back to his parents farm here in Manahawkin, NJ and fixed her up. Not having a sail, his mother fashioned one from old feed bags and thus began his sailing career. After that, he sailed Snipes, more Sneakboxes and Lightnings until working his way up to a Tiger Cat. He then settled on his final big boat, an Irwin FreeSpirit 21 named "Gannet" which he sailed for many years until, at age 89, realized he might be getting too old to manage the big boat and gave her to my son and downsized to a Sunfish and his sailing kayak.
He had no love for ugly sailboats and so really appreciated the Compac 23 that I sail. He knew her to be a fine yacht and not just another plastic sailboat. Of course, when he had advice, I listened and darn if he wasn't always right.
On his 88th birthday, he and I and a friend, went out for a sail aboard "Koinonia". It was one of those rare perfect days where absolutely nothing could go wrong and the boat behaved perfectly, sensing the occasion somehow. The wind, tide and temperature were all perfect that day and despite my being fairly new to the boat, no mishaps of even a minor nature were enjoyed. After we got to shore, he remarked that "this was my best birthday ever". Was I ever glad to have given him that gift. It was one of his last sails aboard my boat.
He was blessed with good health and stamina for the first 90 years but this year, things began to go downhill and he began loosing patience for his own inability to do what he always had done. He had no desire to end life in a hospital bed, hooked up to wires andhoses, being kept alive by a machine. He lived life on his own terms and, like Phil Bolger, made a calculated decision to end it on his own terms. Of course, I disagree with his method but he was never bothered by anyone who disagreed with him. In fact, he always welcomed a good debate, an offer I always declined because he had a near perfect photographic memory dating back to his childhood.
We have losted a great man and the local sailing community has lost a great skipper. My kids have lost a loving grandfather who, until age 75, would be right there with them, boogie boarding in the ocean in the summertime and having the time of his life! He'll be remembered by some as a master decoy carver, some as a boat builder, some as a racer who refused to loose, and to all as someone who had no patience for hypocrites, crybabies or self-serving politicians. We'll remember him as Pop-Pop who grew up dirt poor, served his country, worked hard as a carpenter all his working life, did pretty good and was generous to all.
Don't ignore your elderly, my friends. One day they will be gone and they are irreplaceable. We'll be there all too soon.
"Fair winds, my friend. Fair winds".
I remember well the loss of my father in law, Bob. I mourn with you.
My condolences , Bob.
Tim Gardner
Condolences Bob, to you and your family. I've always enjoyed your writings that made reference to the adventures of Otto Hansen.
Ditto the condolences and prayers Bob, it's really tough when you lose someone who is such an anchor in your life.
Bob D
Bob, so sorry to hear of your loss. I found comfort in this poem after my parents passed- Matt
A Parable of Immortality ?
?I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch, until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come together.
Someone at my side says aloud, ?There she goes.?
Goes where? Gone from my sight.
That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar,
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination as she was when she left my side.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her, and just at the moment when we say, ?There she goes.?
Other eyes are watching her coming, and other voices are ready to take up the glad shout ?Here she comes!??
So sorry for your loss my friend.
Mike
Bob, I'm very sorry to hear about your family's loss. I'll light a candle this evening in his honor. Godspeed, Otto.
Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
Hang in there Bob23
Bob.........to quote your own words of wisdom "All men die; few men really live." The Captain was one of the few exceptions who did "really live." My condolences- take Koinonia out for a sail of introspective remembrance and enjoy the lifetime of memories.
You guys are great! I write this with near tears in my eyes after reading your replies. You'll never know how comforting your words are. This is more like a family gathering than a mere sailboat site. Much Grog to you all!
Otto has requested that a number of poems be read at his memorial service but I believe this is his favorite, by Alfred Lord Tennyson "Crossing the Bar".
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.
Thank you again so much!
Bob23
My grandmother used to recite "Crossing the Bar", and I recited it for her when I preached her funeral. Good Verse. Another is "Requiem" by Robert Louis Stevenson -
'neath a wide and starry sky,
dig a grave and let me lie,
For glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.
And this be the verse you grave for me.
"Here he lies,
where he longed to be,
Home the sailor,
home from the sea,
And the hunter,
home from the hill. Godspeed, Otto.
So sorry Bob. Sounds like he was one hell of a guy.
Bob:
You must be looking over my shoulder. "Requiem" is another one he has requested to be read. And, again, thanks to all. His memorial service is set for Thursday, 1600 hrs at the church where I attend. Not that he was a churchgoer...he prefered to meet his Pilot out on the water, away from all the baloney. Can we blame him?
None of us can make any sense of this. We all have knots in our stomachs, questions in our minds and an unfixable loneliness in our hearts. When such a large man passes on, he leaves a correspondinly large hole in our lives. I guess that is as it should be.
I am comforted by the fact that since he retired in 1982 and enjoyed very good health for all but the last year, he spent much time with us and especially loved his grandchildren. He took great pride that my son, Chris age 29, was the only grandchild to embrace his love of sailing. That's why he felt confident to give him his beloved "Gannet" the Irwin FreeSpirit 21. He also enjoyed that fact that Gannet beat the socks off my Koinonia every time we "raced" except in very high winds.
I hope to get out for a sail tomorrow with my son, my nephews who flew in from as far as Aussieland, and my brother in law.
You guys are a great comfort. Thanks,
Bob23
I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Bob, and offer my deep condolences. While his passing is tragic, your reflections on his life illustrate one that was well lived; and thus an example for all of us to aspire to. My thoughts will be with you.
Thanks again, you guys. Your words are a source of true comfort to me and we've had lots of support from local friends and family too.
The memorial service is tomorrow and my wife is gonna be a wreck. She is the oldest of 3 daughers and the "son" he never had. When she was a kid, she'd go out fishing with him in his 28' Carl Adams Skiff. On nights when she didn't go, she'd lie awake until he returned. She has been crying for 6 days now and I'm kinda worried about her. Yeah, she's a tough women, like her father, but this has really devastated her for now.
Your prayers and thoughts are so appreciated and needed. Like I said before, at times like these, you guys feel more like family. Thank you,
Bob23
I don't want to prolong this thread but I thought I bring some of you fellers up to speed. The Admiral and I went to our first therapy session today. Wonderful! I don't normally have respect for these guys with thier heads in the clouds (or a worse place) but this guy was so down to earth and real! We felt as if real progress was made but we all know there is a long road ahead.
Thanks agian, Mates.
Bob23
Bob, I missed this post when it first went up, sorry I am so behind. My heart goes out to your mother-in-law, your wife, you and your children. It is very hard to say good bye, but the one thing that you have that can help ease the pain a bit, is the fact that he knew he was loved. That is what we can give to our elderly, our attention, our time, and our love. And for his checking out on his own terms, when it comes my time I hope our society has advanced to the point where I do not have to do it alone, we are allowed to show more compassion to our animals than we can show our loved ones.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Wiggs
Thank you Wiggs.
Tomorrow will be 2 weeks; we'll see how it goes. Fortunately, I'm slow at work now so I have time to spend with my wife. I think my sailboat is getting jealous!
Thanksgiving and Christmas will be hard...Otto was a colorful character who added life wherever he went.
Bob23